Things were great but now....

Am I trying too hard to make something happen that I can't? Are we just too different? Have we been too changed by past events, that we just can't go back now? Decisions which I have made in the past may have influenced the way things are today, but is there a way to look past all of that and still be happy? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but the one thing I do know ~ is ~ I can't go on the way things are now.

It's hard to change, but am I worth it? Can I ever be the women of your dreams, or will I always be the women of your reality, the one who is with you becasue it is easy. Not the who makes you happy, but the one who consistently makes you unhappy.

I hate facing this! I don't want to try anymore, I just want it to be there, to be natural. Why does it have to be so hard, so forced? Can't I ever be the one who every other women envies? The "perfect" life ~ a relative term?

... or were they ever GREAT?!